All Entries Tagged With: "better sex"

7 Great Tips for Improving Your Sex Life

First of all, the term “great sex” is totally subjective. What I considered great sex or a fantastic lover to me many years ago does not even come close in measuring up to subsequent sexual experiences. I didn’t know what I was missing as I had nothing better to compare it to at the time. Lucky for me it has become progressively better and I’ve learned so much about my own sexuality and relationships over the years. Also, I have learned a lot of terrific tips from working with many other couples in facilitating relationship counseling. In particular, I’ve gained many insights about women who have certain hang-ups with sexual intimacy.

Many women remain remarkably confused about what great sex is and how to have it. Sometimes they are shadowed by self-doubt, and clouded by sexual myths and misperceptions. Often women tend to get in their own way of being able to experience greater sexual pleasure and more intimate relationships. They seem to self-sabotage opportunities for real intimacy with their own insecurities. That brings us to the first and most important sex tip:

1: Do not compare yourself to other women.

Women Get Better With Age – and So Does the Sex!

Just like fine wine, women get better with age – and so does the sex. During our younger years, social time is spent either in excessive party-mode or completely focused on academic and personal development. Curiosity about sex is generally fulfilled by amateur experimentation, books, films, and/or random hearsay from others. Our first intimate relationships mainly consist of trying to figure out what we’re doing and becoming comfortable with sharing our bodies with another person. Most young women feel extremely insecure about how they look, as they tend to compare themselves to all the other girls – even airbrushed supermodels in magazines and on TV. Lacking self-confidence and experience, teenage girls and women in their early 20’s are generally not as knowledgeable or skillful in the bedroom, unable to fully enjoy the passion and potential of intimacy.

Earlier in life, sex is mostly hormone driven, but as a person ages it becomes much more about sensuality. Traditionally, couples begin their families in their 20’s and spend the next 15-20 years consumed with domestic duties, at soccer practice and other kid-focused activities. The men are focused on building their careers with the added stress of providing for their families. Women may also try to juggle their careers and motherhood. Couples struggle to stay in balance with playing house, being good parents, and basic daily survival rather than nourishing their relationship. A hot steamy sex life tends to be pushed to the side because of family dynamics.

What Women Want

For women, sex is much more than just a mechanical biological activity. We want an extraordinary holistic experience with an attentive, perceptive and expressive partner who is willing to delve into the depths of our soul, sharing absolute bliss in divine union. Is that too much to ask?

Granted, that’s a pretty tall order to fill for the average man who gets an erection from a split-second glance at a quasi-sexy image and then goes through a nearly-automated sequence of simple physical motions which culminates in ejaculation. Women are different. More complex. We need various forms of physical stimulation as well as energetic and emotional connection. We want them to make love to our minds, first. We wish to feel a sense of recognition, value and appreciation. If men only knew how much better their sex lives could be with an empowered woman who feels confident, sexy and passionate, then they would certainly be willing to consider what women truly want in bed. Guess what, ladies – it’s up to us to lead the way.